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 Lady Coal [Konoha Jounin] (Complete)

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Wind
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PostSubject: Lady Coal [Konoha Jounin] (Complete)   Thu Nov 11, 2010 1:18 am



Basic Information:

Nicknames/Aliases Lady Coal

Age: 34

Gender: Female

Appearance: The lady Coal is a stunning woman in the peak of her condition. Her hair is as black as her namesake, and half the reason she was gifted with the moniker. The soft raven tresses pour down from her head to gather atop and cascade past her narrow and somewhat dainty shoulders. From behind the frame of her jet black hair, a pair of striking blue eyes peers out at the world around her, always seeming to be full of a sort of curiosity of all she sees. Her face is that of an angel, soft but defined, round and warm, yet somehow also filled with a strange sense of mystery. Those who gaze upon her visage have likened her to a painting, in that those who seek to see beauty always find it manifest in a different aspect of her body.

Some point to her full lips and their shape, the constant slight pucker making her seem ready for another kiss. Others remark on the subtle arch of her brow, and the regal and inquisitive look they give her. Others still declare that her subtle cheekbones give her face the alluring definition of a woman, and bring out her beauty all the more. Even with all the arguments, everyone seems to agree that she is dazzling. Most are also willing to agree that below the shoulders, the mystery of her beauty just grows.

Coal’s body is one to be desired, and one desired by many. She has full, swaying hips in spite of her waifish design, the narrow curve of her waist falling just short of giving her a wasp like figure. Her legs are long and slender, well muscled and lacking in any cuts, nicks, or scars from her life as a ninja. Where as most who have seen such a rough life are calloused and patched with their share of physical medals, lady Coal’s skin is a smooth and almost endless expanse of flour soft, cream colored flesh.

Her body is something of legend, and a common topic as night falls in the few taverns spattered through out Konoha. Oddly, it would seem the regal lady has few complaints to being so desired. The clothing she wears seems to only better accent each perfect curve she was graced with. The soft clingy silk of her robes hugs her like a second skin, conforming to the woman’s ample chest, while dangling loose, and daringly short at her thighs. Many swear this is all she wears, as she’s never been seen wearing shoes, gloves, or armor. The fiery red robes have become her trademark, though not so much as her disarming, coy, and absolutely dangerous smile.

A trace work of black ink snakes its way over small portions of her body, remaining tastefully small but present enough to add subtle decoration her. From below her robes vines creep downwards along her left leg, ending with a small flower on the top of her foot. While her right leg is missing any black ink, the same vine of leaves rings its way in a meandering spiral down her right arm, also ending in a flower on the back of her palm.

Like most of the monks from the Lotus Monastery, Lady Coal has a relatively high number of tattoos placed around her body. While some are visible, others are not. What can be determined from these numerous tattoos when scene is that Coal has a distinctive floral design forming with all of her seals. Of the eight tattoos she's got scribed on her body, six of them are different sorts of Flowers. Coals visible tattoos are the delphinium on her left hand, the lotus blossom and vine on the back of her right hand and going up her arm, a single owl's eye tattooed on the palm of her right hand, and a band of fuuinjutsu text making a two inch wide band on her right forearm.

Personality:Many good things can be said about Coal, though numerous bad things as well. The words used to describe her by many would include: Lazy, Late, and quite Easy Going. Coal is not hard to please, though she seems to take the same neutral outlook on just about all topics. These slightly loose morals have left her on some bad sides, however all know Coal to be a wise, and over all good natured woman. She is as fond of trees as she is a city, and rarely has any complaints to voice.

Inside, Coal is a bright, charming, and rather peaceful woman. She views the world with the unrivaled curiosity of an explorer, and is always among the first to offer her services for her village. She often fills the roll of a medic, where her tranquil outlook on life helps comfort her patients, while her powerful medical jutsu heal them up right quick. Over all, Coal is openly friendly with just about everyone she meets, unless they give her a reason to dislike them.

Rank Information:
Skill Level: A
Ninja Rank: Jounin
Village: Konohagakure
Birthplace: Land of Fire
Previous Village: N/A

Elements Affinity:
    Dominant:Lava
    Recessive:Fire and Earth

Skill Specialty::
    Dominant: Fuuinjutsu/Seal Knowledge
    Recessive: Medical


Background Information/ RP Sample

History:
Spoiler:
 

Role-Play Sample:
Spoiler:
 



Clan Information:
Name: Osuhime
Location: Extinct

History: This clan was thought to have existed long ago in the land of Stone. They were centered around a volcano, which in time erupted and wiped most of them out of existence. It is thought the clan might have survived, and might have had the Lava jutsu, but it’s mostly speculation.
Special Info: This clan has sway over the Lava element, and possesses a much higher than average body temperature.

Name of the Kekkei Genkai:N/A

Points and Ryo:

Total:
  • Strength:20
  • Dexterity:61
  • Stamina:109
  • Speed:20


Total Stat Points Earned:210
Mission Points Earned:5
Ryo:600,000




Last edited by Wind on Thu Nov 11, 2010 4:39 am; edited 7 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Coal [Konoha Jounin] (Complete)   Thu Nov 11, 2010 1:41 am

Justu and Seals and Abilities:

Special Characteristics
Spoiler:
 

Elemental Jutsu
Spoiler:
 

Non-Elemental Jutsu
Spoiler:
 

Medical Jutsu
Spoiler:
 

Fuuinjutsu Seals and Techniques
Spoiler:
 

Taijutsu
Spoiler:
 


Last edited by Wind on Sun Nov 28, 2010 3:15 am; edited 2 times in total
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Wind
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Coal [Konoha Jounin] (Complete)   Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:00 am

Inventory:

Fire Silk Robe
Spoiler:
 

Crimson Sash of Victory
Spoiler:
 

Concealed Ninja Pouch
Spoiler:
 

Essence Markers:
Currently Coal has placed her essence marker on numerous items, allowing her to summon them at a moments notice. Because of this, Coal can call upon almost any basic ninja weapon, simply by summoning one from home. This also applies to stores of water and dried fruit and meat rations, as well as other basic supplies, such as clothing, and empty boxes.
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Coal [Konoha Jounin] (Complete)   Thu Nov 11, 2010 3:47 am

You need to add on some clan history and elaberate on special info (Such as the exact or at least an estimate number/percentage of body temperature)

Also, Lava Element would be the clan's Kekkei Genkai so you need to add that in along with some clan jutsu.

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PostSubject: Re: Lady Coal [Konoha Jounin] (Complete)   Thu Nov 11, 2010 4:21 am

I added a link to my clan? It's in the approved clan section, though I saw clans were being remodded? I'd really like to avoid posting the whole clan app on my character app, to avoid a whole bunch of duplicate information. She only uses a few of the clan's jutsu, and they're all in her jutsu section. All the information about temperature and such is there too.
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Coal [Konoha Jounin] (Complete)   Thu Nov 11, 2010 4:24 am

Oh right, we actually kept the clan section....

Well then the only thing left is the optional decision of posting your topics in the application (Or your response) to add in extra points/ryo.

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PostSubject: Re: Lady Coal [Konoha Jounin] (Complete)   Thu Nov 11, 2010 4:29 am

I put it all in my links page, which is: Here.

Hope that works?
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Coal [Konoha Jounin] (Complete)   Thu Nov 11, 2010 4:35 am

210 SP to spend (5 earned)

600,000 ryo to spend (500,000 earned)

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PostSubject: Re: Lady Coal [Konoha Jounin] (Complete)   Thu Nov 11, 2010 4:41 am

So altered, though I've yet to see how Ryo is spent. Either way, I'm done. ^-^
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Coal [Konoha Jounin] (Complete)   Thu Nov 11, 2010 4:43 am

Check out the library/housing section

Approved

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PostSubject: Re: Lady Coal [Konoha Jounin] (Complete)   Sat Nov 27, 2010 8:44 pm

After reviewing the application, this is unapproved as of now.
Spoiler:
 

This is OP because you have the seal. You can never lose chakra, it only goes somewhere else, a place which no person can reach it except for you.

1 A Rank worth of chakra gained out of the seal for 1 Post is OP. It should at least be 2 posts.

Spoiler:
 

Denied.

"the sash will only willingly give its chakra to the person who is wearing it, and only slowly at that. Absorbing the chakra requires no concentration at all, and can happen as instinct when accessing chakra for a jutsu."

Either I'm not understanding it right or this makes 0 sense. It gives chakra out slowly... but you can absorb it on instinct when you need it for a jutsu?

If you cannot use more than 1 B Rank of chakra each post with this on, then you have already broken your own rules.... You should never be able to use above an B rank amount of chakra ever, unless the seal is removed, which means, due to your Overwhelming chakra SC, that you will lose the amount of chakra for an A and up rank technique and another A Rank for the general loss.

"...Lady coal only has the chakra capacity to hold 4 A ranks of chakra. Anything more than this(Under any circumstances) is immediately siphoned out of her chakra supply at a rate of 1 A rank per post..." So you would be at half your chakra unless you took some time out to recover using the seal

Also take out the 10% increase. Combined with a fuuin dominant, your hand signs operate 35% faster than anyone else....

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PostSubject: Re: Lady Coal [Konoha Jounin] (Complete)   Sun Nov 28, 2010 3:45 am

I find it pretty amusing you went after stuff that was already approved, when there's such a backlog of unapproved stuff to moderate, but what the heck, I'll humor you. I mean, heck, who cares if people have been waiting a week for some simple changes..

Quote :
This is OP because you have the seal. You can never lose chakra, it only goes somewhere else, a place which no person can reach it except for you.

1 A Rank worth of chakra gained out of the seal for 1 Post is OP. It should at least be 2 posts.

Can't be done, saddly. The SC is just there to explain Coal's chakra. It isn't OP because of her seal, it -is- her seal. It is why she has her seal, it is her amazingly large chakra supply, modified by the seal. It's not an additional chakra supply, and I'm not sure why you think stealing Coal's chakra isn't possible. You can steal Chakra from Coal all you want, long as you have things to steal chakra with. It's just pointless, because she can slowly refill.

And no, I would have to stay that being forced to stand still and concentrate on gaining chakra for a whole post, is completely NOT worth it, if you're only getting 1 B rank. That can't be lowered from where it is, or it pretty much invalidates the character.

Quote :
Either I'm not understanding it right or this makes 0 sense. It gives chakra out slowly... but you can absorb it on instinct when you need it for a jutsu

The chakra in the sash is a separate chakra supply, which coal can draw on slowly when using jutsu. Each post she can use 1 B rank of chakra from the sash, to power a jutsu. I thought it was pretty obvious. And yes, if Coal was full of chakra, and used her sash, her containment seal would eat it. But it would eat the chakra from her supply, not from the sash. While the chakra is dormant in the sash, nothing can steal it.

Quote :
If you cannot use more than 1 B Rank of chakra each post with this on, then you have already broken your own rules.... You should never be able to use above an B rank amount of chakra ever, unless the seal is removed, which means, due to your Overwhelming chakra SC, that you will lose the amount of chakra for an A and up rank technique and another A Rank for the general loss.
Can only use 1 B rank from the sash. Come on, now you're just being a pain. Seriously, go pick on someone else's not 100% perfect grammar.

Quote :
Also take out the 10% increase. Combined with a fuuin dominant, your hand signs operate 35% faster than anyone else....
That is why I put it there, why would I take it out? That's like saying, take the Sharp description out of your sword. Is there something wrong with a 10% increase? Seemed pretty tame to me, not like I'm doubling my speed or anything. Coal is natural apt at both writing seals, and forming seals, and the sash makes her better. I don't see what the problem is, with taking an item to enhance your characters natural abilities.

Anyway, I didn't make any of the requested changes. None of them seem right to make, and I'm gonna have to keep saying my character is fair and balanced already, and needs no modifications.
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Coal [Konoha Jounin] (Complete)   Sun Nov 28, 2010 4:31 am

SHi is saying you cannot have the 10% increase, not suggesting, saying. You already have a 25% increase, 35% is excessive.

The sash needs to be removed. We arent allowing secondary chakra sources, since you have an excessive chakra supply. DOnt whine or complain, just remove it.

Shi is sayign in order to pull out a full A-Rank of chakra from your seal, you need to concentrate 2 posts. Not one, 2. Yes i get its a B-Rank per post, but you dont understand how much chakra that actually is. It may not seem like a lot, but extracting from a seal takes alot longer than you think. You are over estimating the ability of seals in general.

Quote :
Name: Overwhelming Chakra
Type: Supplementary
Description: Coal was born with an unthinkably large chakra supply, which was easily capable of destroying her as an infant. To prevent this, a powerful fuuinjutsu seal was applied to her shortly after her birth. Because of this, Lady Coal's chakra is very confusing. To reduce needed math and calculations it can just be stated as thus. Even as a long time jounin, Lady coal only has the chakra capacity to hold 4 A ranks of chakra. Anything more than this(Under any circumstances) is immediately siphoned out of her chakra supply at a rate of 1 A rank per post, and absorbed by her Chakra Containment Seal. Because Coal has such expert control over her chakra supply, she can spend a whole post concentrating to squeeze 1 A rank of chakra out of the seal, and back into her chakra network. While concentrating on the seal Coal can not move, attack, or utilize Jutsu. If she does, she looses concentration, and can not harvest chakra that post.

This is a Special Characteristic. Not a seal. Get that straight first. You mention a seal, but this is NOT the seal. Thus what Shi said applies. It needs to be removed, AS A SPECIAL CHARACTERISTIC. Not only does it allow unlimited chakra, which in relation to that you seem to be negating your downside completely and that will also be fixed. All the seal does is remove the ability to have unlimited chakra right from the start, that point is completely invalid.


Since this stuff needs to be fixed from a moderators stand point, and not only Shi's but mine and Riku's as well, fix it. DO NOT bitch at the moderators or say we are picking on you. This is the problem you had on US, dont start it here because we will not hesitate to remove you. This, again, is NOT a moderator picking on you like you seem to always assume, but a fixing of your character. Which needs to be done and falls under any creation mods app.

Now, before you start going on about the other applications, the large majority of them are WIP. The character modifications fall under lifeanddeath's job at the moment given that system design was his and he hasnt explained much about it. Sure we could figure it out, but until he decides to tell us what we need to do, he is doing it. There IS no backlog of apps, only modifications, which Shi cannot mod, just so you know.

When the above is fixed, and I mean fixed, not sitting there pulling an Adam and bitching to me about why it shouldnt be fixed or you dont want to fix it, then I will go over the rest of the jutsu myself since you dont seem to be able to follow a simple moderators words, which shows disrespect to the staff as a whole, and extreme disrespect to Riku and myself and lifeanddeath since we designated that staff to help us run the site.

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PostSubject: Re: Lady Coal [Konoha Jounin] (Complete)   Sun Nov 28, 2010 5:10 am

Well, I have been insulted by the staff numerous times, but that is neither here nor there. Asking me to completely remake my character after already having all of this approved twice is unfair regardless of who can moderate what. I can understand that an infinite chakra combination is excessive, but I thought it was balanced well enough as it was. I ran out of chakra easy, but with enough planning could still manage pretty well. If it isn't allowed, then I am fine with that. It's certainly reasonable to ask me to tone it down, but I just don't see that as a possibility.

Already Coal starts off with 1/3 the chakra of other jounin, and needs to be able to keep pumping out chakra to keep up. I just don't see how it can be done, and still keep the character's base concept in full functionality. Slowing down her chakra gain would only wok if she was able to start from a larger pool, but that just negates it all anyway. She may as well just have normal chakra, and that's not what I made coal for. I'm not bitching, and I'm not complaining, I am simply stating my sides of things. I think my character is balanced just fine.

I don't mind loosing the sash. I only made it cause I saw other people with items with a chakra supply and thought to myself "Wow, I gotta get me one of those." If they're not allowed, then I don't mind loosing mine as well.

Now, all of this aside, I don't want to make a whole bunch of modifications to my character. I just don't want too, I've spent enough time thinking up the character's future that I don't want to have to start over on the character herself to continue playing her. Weakening an already slow moving combo is just going to make the character unplayable in any combat situation, which makes her something lacking for a jounin. Perhaps I don't have the best grasp on Fuuinjutsu.. so be it. I will play something else.

I am not bitching, nor am I complaining. I am more than happy to just scrap the character as invalid, and move on. I've other characters in mind, and don't mind one bit not playing a jounin. As fun as leading a squad is, maybe there are better candidates to fill the jounin slot I'm taking up? I really don't mind. Just let me know what you think is best.
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Coal [Konoha Jounin] (Complete)   Today at 5:34 am

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